I read an article about how writing helps in dealing with anxiety. I used to write all the time whenever I was anxious. It helped me to express my thoughts in a clear way but it didn’t do anything else. Now, I realize that it wasn’t reflective and not honest.
Whenever I used to write it down, I always see it with someone else’s eyes. This made me write only good things about myself or modified version of things, which was far from the truth. No wonder it didn’t help!
To reflect on my writing was to relive those anxieties again. I almost never read it again. At one time, I opened my notebook where I have written an entry of two years back. When I reflected upon my mental conditions now and then, it was still the same.
I was writing the same thing again and again and that too for years! I had those same anxieties and same fears and I have not done anything about it. It is still there, gnawing my happiness little by little.
That article, made me realize I have to be honest with myself while writing my feelings down (no matter how stupid or obscure my feelings are).
I have to be reflective, so that I can learn to improve my mistakes and avoid repeating it.
I need to do it in a safe space where I can feel that no one else would go through it.
I will update this blog post after a week, about my findings following the advice.